MY REVELATIONS

One of the first photos we have of Sara...


The light in her eyes...warms my heart!

I don't like change. I never have. Ask most anyone that knows me... and they will tell you that if I move into a place and get comfortable, rarely do I change anything about it. I HATE CHANGE. When we began this journey of adoption... I had no idea how much it would change my life. I also had no idea how much it would change me... who I am... what I think...and how I feel. We began this journey like many other couples...we wanted to have a family. We had been through all the ups, but mostly downs, of the fertility cycle... and looking back now... I wish I had stopped a lot sooner. (That whole "Be Still and know that I AM GOD..." thing.) I was busy trying to make the miracle... and little did I know that our real miracle had already been born. In the beginning of this journey, we planned on having a baby... and we began to prepare our home accordingly. We had the high chairs, the swings, the baby beds... everything you needed to bring home a newborn... or an almost newborn baby. Little did we know... God had other plans for our lives. Apparently, God never intended for us to parent newborn babies. Our girls, while referred to us at ages 4 days (Rachel) and 11 months (Ali) came home at the ages of 15 months and 26 months. TODDLERS TIMES TWO. When we began the process for McCaleb... I gave my list of "specific requests" to Chriss at Small Miracles. I wonder now if she even read them. McCaleb was NOT ONE of the items on my list! Yet he fits into our lives and into our family so perfectly... we know that God's hand was again at work. McCaleb came home at the age of 20 months. It was during our trip to bring McCaleb home that we began to look around and see all the babies that people were adopting... but our hearts began to break for the older children, who often times get passed over in lieu of the younger child. Tim spent a great deal of time at the orphanage that McCaleb had been living in - and just hearing about and seeing the photos and videos of those older children was heartbreaking. It was also during this trip that we began talking about the possibility of adopting an older child... and our first phone call was made only a few short weeks after returning home. The journey to bringing Sara home really began well over a year ago... and our hearts are so overwhelmed at the wonder of God's grace to allow us this opportunity. Sara is such a sweet and precious child. She is full of life and energy... she is funny and silly... she is sweet and affectionate. She wants to please... but she still has a mind of her own. There are many people that are beginning the process of adoption and they think only about the babies. Babies are WONDERFUL... sweet, adorable, cute and cuddly. The bonding is easier, the adjustments are fewer. I am not knocking infant adoption. I certainly want all the children to have a home. But I would love it if every person that was adopting had the opportunity to see, visit, talk with or spend time with some of these older children. There is such a blessing to be had by opening your heart to these children! They are amazing. The crushing reality for these children is that the statistics for older children being adopted... is about 5%. That means that out of every 100 "Sara's" in orphanages right now... only 5 have a place that they will be able to call home, and people that they will be able to call "family". There will be 95 others, that at the age of 10, 12, 14... will be turned out onto the streets to live. Life has already been hard enough for these children. They didn't really have MUCH of a childhood to begin with. But their stark reality is - that if other people don't open their hearts and homes to these children...they will most likely end up poor, hungry, uneducated, sick... and typically dying at a very young age, never having experienced "being a kid". Tim and I know that we can only do so much. We can't bring them all home... try as we might. But what we can do is try to raise a level of awareness in others... and hopefully people wil begin to see past the adjustments, the pain, the fact that it isn't easy or always "picture perfect"... to the benefits and blessings that will occur... not only for the child's life... but in the lives of everyone that child touches! I hear all the time how lucky our children are that we adopted them... as if we rescued them. I guess as a matter of perspective, I can see why people think this. But OH MY... how wrong they are. It is Tim and I that are the lucky ones... and truly it is us that has been rescued. This past week we went to visit Sara. We had a firm conviction in our hearts that God had orchestrated this entire adoption. We were blown away by His grace and His blessings. Sara was such a joy... such a blessing. I sat there watching her with her Daddy... and couldn't help but be overwhelmed by the thought of "what if"... What if I hadn't made the call, What if we hadn't opened our hearts, What if no one had ever opened their hearts....? What if? There are so many children out there waiting for someone to open their hearts to the POSSIBILITY. And let me just say... that when we trust God and follow His will for our lives... there will be BLESSINGS. SHOWERS OF BLESSINGS! For those of you that never saw the video we made for our "announcement" fund raising event - you can view it by clicking on this link: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8651154363526208367&hl=en Listen to the words of the song... because it spoke to my heart... and I hope that it touches yours as well. Oh - and by the way... we got our Pre-approval! One more hurdle towards bringing Sara home! God Bless You All.