The End of the Day...

After the Goe's left tonight... it was very quiet. The kind of quiet like at home when the kids are gone with Tim and I have to call a few times to check on everyone... because it's just TOO quiet. I had already noticed that Sara had seemed a little quiet too today, off and on. But we ordered a Pizza, sat on the bed and had a picnic... and colored some more pictures. Sara wanted to channel-surf...and then she had the biggest giggle-fit I have EVER HEARD. Even from Ali and Rachel combined. She got tickled over everything and anything. I was lucky enough to have the video camera on - and got the whole thing on tape. It was really cute! She snorts, by the way. ;)

Then it was bedtime. We hugged her tight, I tucked her in bed... and when I turned back around to hand her "sheep" to her... she was crying. Tim had gone to shower... so he missed the whole thing. At first the tears began to fall slowly... but then they came out full force, sobs and all. It was so heart breaking. I climbed up beside her and just held her - telling her over and over again that it was going to be OK. I told her we were coming back, that she WAS going to be coming home... and that we loved her. Over and over and over. I really don't know how much she "gets" of what I am saying... but I just knew that she needed to hear it - even if she can't understand it. This is the hard part... leaving. It was horrible when we did it with Ali and Rachel... but they were so much younger. I think for them - they were relieved to be going back to their "routines". For us it was difficult. NOW, for Sara - she knows... she understands... and she is scared. There is so much that we don't know about her life before last year. There are things we will never know. But to see a child that had no spark in her eyes... turn into this bundle of love and happiness... it makes your heart absolutely SOAR. How can we ever thank those of you that have had such a huge impact on our lives - and have supported us with your love, your prayers and your gifts? There are no words. But as I held her tonight until she fell asleep - I was reminded that God has answered all of our prayers. I prayed that He would open her heart to love us - and He did. I prayed that He would find a way to help us get here this summer - and again He did. And finally I prayed that He would begin to heal her hurts... and I think that He has. I know that us leaving her tomorrow will be so painful. But I also know that this trip and this time was so vital to her... and I am so thankful to all of you that helped us make it here! Thank you - from both of us... but mostly for Sara. She need to know that she is loved, wanted, cared for and needed. Thank you for helping us show her that love.