Saying Goodbye

Tim with Kennth, Marty and Dale at Marty's wedding

It's currently May... but I am backing up a bit to try and catch up the blog. I'm not sure why I feel the need to do so...maybe it's because our lives have changed so drastically. Or maybe, I think because I desperately want to "catch up" our lives. Mostly I think that we experienced something so shocking to us... that we somehow lost our footing... and I feel the need to get us back on solid ground. If I can do that in some small way by keeping the blog up-to-date... then I feel that at least it's a start.

Last minute advice for Marty, no doubt...before he walks the aisle.

February started off busy already - with the girl's Forever Family Day, and then dealing with the loss of Millie. Nothing could have prepared us for the sudden loss of a loved one.

February 9th, just like many other nights, Tim was working late. Most nights I try to wait up for him... because if I go to bed and fall asleep... when he comes home...I'm up the rest of the night. Knowing I had to go to the doctor the next day - I decided to go on to bed. Sometime about 3:30am, Tim called me and said he was on the way to the hospital. His mother was on the way there with Kenneth. He called back less than 30 minutes later. By the time he arrived - it was too late.

To lose someone like Kenneth from our lives is still difficult to believe. He was a big man with a booming voice. But his personality was also larger than life... he commanded all attention each time he was present in any situation. Even now when we are down at the farm - I expect him to walk in and begin picking on me... which seemed to be a favorite pasttime of his.

The rest of that week is still a blur to me. We had visitation and the funeral. The kids did great...I think it hit Sara and Ali the hardest. Sara has had so much to deal with - and still hadn't been home a full year. It's a lot to deal with - even for the grown ups!

On Saturday following the funeral, the whole family gathered together at the farm. The ice storm we had a few weeks before had left the farm with quite a bit of damage. Everyone pulled together for a work day to help clean up and clear away all the limbs and trees that were down. I know that it was a big help to Ellen - and honestly everyone seemed to really enjoy themselves. I think that in some way - it helped to start the healing process and give everyone some normalcy back to a week that was so surreal. But more than that - I think that Kenneth would have been so happy. Happy to see everyone taking care of Ellen... happy to see that the mess was being cleaned up... but mostly happy to see us - there all together - and doing it to honor him.