Sweet Success!

Ali has been trying to tie her own shoes for a very long time...maybe since she was about 3. But she would get so upset when her fingers wouldn't work, or she would get so confused. Tim would try to help her, I would try to help her... but it just wasn't working out. Then, it dawns on me... I am teaching her left-handed. Tim is teaching her right-handed. Tim is the better teacher... but he just isn't with the kids as much as I am during the day, so apparently I have been "undoing" all the work that he and Ali have been "doing". It was a big AHA moment for me... and I decided to just use Tim's words and try to talk her through it. (It's really hard to not want to help...) We have been trying that for a couple of days this week. But she was still getting frustrated and would give up and ask me to tie her shoes for her. Which I would do - and tell her it was OK - that I bet I couldn't tie when I was 5 years old. (She also keeps asking for Velcro, which if you know me... you know I really don't care for Velcro shoes...but I won't give in, because I knew she could do this.)

Well, if there is ONE good thing about Carpal Tunnel (and I truly can't imagine that there is...) it's that your fingers just don't work most of the time - but especially first thing in the morning. (Again, I'm not sure this is technically what I would call a good thing - but it came in handy today.) Since I only slept 2 hours on Sunday night and then 2 hours on Wednesday night from the pain... and they can't give me my injection until Monday... I am really uncomfortable right now. So, Ali was clunking around the house in her untied shoes this morning... quite possibly making a statement about the fact that hers were still not tied...again, my fingers were not working. However, it could be that thing cool kids do where they don't want their shoes tied, so they just clunk around. Either way...the clunking had to stop. I told Ali to sit down and try to tie her shoes... that I knew she could do it. Then I went into the kitchen to watch from a distance. When I saw that she was really going to get it - I got the camera and began snapping pictures. She was so proud!!!! I knew she could get it... and I bet if I hadn't been helping all along, we might have seen success earlier in the year. Oh, well. At least I know now... so when it's Rachel's turn, I'll just let Ali teach her.

As for Rachel and McCaleb, they got bored with all the trying pretty fast... and sat down to read magazines. McCaleb loves the National Geographic that Grandpa Larry sends! (Yes, he does read them upside-down quite often...) As for Rachel, she prefers her Daddy's Plane and Pilot. When Tim can't find his magazines, he has to check Rachel's toy basket. That's usually where they end up. (However, if her driving skills don't improve, I'm pretty sure we will never let her fly...)

Good job Ali for all your hard work and perseverance! We are so proud!!!!

Daddy's Big Day

For those of you that know Tim... you will know that he will H-A-T-E this post more than any other, because it's about him. Tim is a very private person - bless his heart - married to quite a "tell all" blabbermouth. I like to think that we compliment one another... but he might not always agree. Again... bless his heart. ;)

Also - for those of you that know Tim/Hi-Tech/me - you'll know that we don't take off work (much or ever) we don't take vacations (together...for sure) and we rarely have an entire weekend together as a family. (Usually this requires some major act of nature...) But one thing we do well... is birthdays. We do take off that one day - and spend it together as a family.

Tim's big day was Friday of last week - and to say that it started off a little ROCKY is a bit of an understatement. Ha ha. Let me explain.

Thursday night Tim snuck home to eat with the kids (this way they think he's really home... we are getting pretty good at this trick) and then he leaves again once they are in bed. He left and headed into Georgetown to pick up more work, went to Lexington to finish up at CKBC... and then headed out to Steve an Joy's to install the security camera in their new horse facility. OK - very cool thing they have going on there...they are a post-op recovery facility for horses (like once they leave Rood and Riddle... or Hagyard-Davidson-McGee). In their stalls, they have these cameras - and you can go onto the internet and log in and WATCH YOUR OWN HORSE! Very cool. Tim and Steve were installing those cameras and getting them up and running. Check out their website, buy a horse or St. Bernard... or better yet - a Kangaroo. Steve and Joy are the jack of all trades! (http://www.horsehavenfarm.com/) However, the camera thing took a little longer than anticipated... I finally gave up on him at about 3am. It was a horrible night - the wind was really blowing and I kept hearing things. I am usually not a scaredy cat - but I was hearing a lot of thumping going on... and kept getting up to check on things/kids/dogs/the doors...

About 7am... Tim comes rolling in. I had finally fallen asleep. I told him to nap on the couch until the kids woke up - and then we'd swap spots...so while he's downstairs trying to snooze... HE STARTS TO HEAR THE THUMPING. He opens his eyes in time to see two little rabbit ears pop up - and then hop away. Apparently I hadn't latched the cage well at bedtime... or Rocky is an escape artist. (Hence the ROCKY start to his day...) He finally got the rabbit put away (NOT always easy) ... and by this time the kids were up and ready to play ... unaware that Daddy hadn't YET been to bed. :) He was upstairs playing with the kids... and we hear MORE THUMPING...on a much larger scale. Apparently HE hadn't latched the garage door well... and the dogs were all in the house. (Good thing they didn't get the rabbit...)

Unfortunately, Tim did have to work until about 3... and then we went out for some Chinese Food, and a birthday cake with party hats compliments of the kids! Tim went to bed early - a MUCH deserved treat for the birthday boy.

On Saturday we met Mamoo and Papoo out for lunch at Outback and another party at their new house in Lexington, with Jamie, Chuck and Briana! A fun weekend, indeed... to celebrate the most self-less member of our home.

Boys and Their Toys

I knew a little boy would be different. I knew that there would be adjustments... things that would make me gasp and pray... and things that would make my heart melt. People would say... "Boys are different." WHATEVER!!! No one really explained this to me. No one went into detail. What does different mean?

I'll tell you what it means... it means things like, don't turn your back without strapping them INTO the high chair - not even for a second. It means that all tractors are toys... and if they can't reach the step to get up onto the tractor... they will find another way to get up into the seat. (More than likely - they will also leave your lights on and run the battery dead... but that's the grown ups fault for not checking...) It means that fast is not fast enough, high is not high enough... and always be prepared to catch a jumping two year old. (Thank goodness the bed is not too far from the floor, sorry about that one, buddy.) It means that gates on the deck will ALWAYS be locked when Mommy is on the tractor. It also means that naptimes are going to be sorely missed for that very same reason. It means this new "smell" when we come in from playing. It's more like one of the dogs - and less like one of the girls. It's called little boy smell... and it somewhat resembles his father... just on a smaller scale.

It also means you never have to get your own toilet paper, ever... and when you get out of the shower or tub, your towel is being handed to you. It means that you always have help with the trash... even if sometimes more of it ends up on the floor. No worries... he loves the dust pan, too. It means that when it's time to leave the house - you turn around and your coat or purse or diaper bag is ready and waiting for you. It also means the best hugs in the morning... at nap time... and along with the sweetest smiles when he really wants to get away with something.

Boys are different. Ours is a sweetheart, with more love and smiles to melt the hearts of all the women in this house. (And his Daddy's, too.) I think that the reason no one tells you how boys are different... is that there aren't really words to describe the bundle of fun and energy that they are!

Here is McCaleb...our little bundle of energy... doing a few of his favorite OUTDOOR activities. Enjoy the pictures!

The Video...

Ok... so let me just say, that Chuck Shell is the best! He has done everything short of coming to my house and setting up this video for me. However, even with the idiot proof instructions... I seem to be missing a step somewhere along the way. HOWEVER... I hope that by clicking on this link, you can view the video. (Did I mention that he also put this together for me, as well?) THANK YOU CHUCK!


http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8651154363526208367&hl=en

Girls with Pearls!

Kids love to get presents. Moms like presents (usually) that don't require assembly. ;) However... the girls got a really cool gift from Cynthia, Adam, Keegan and Romy while they were in China bringing Romy home.
(See their new blog at http://www.mychinesedumplings.blogspot.com/)

The Farley Family brought Ali and Rachel home these really cool pearl necklace kits... some assembly required. You actually open the oyster with a little spatula, (that is included) dig out the pearl, (did I mention that it smells like oysters and that you dig the pearl out of the squishy, slimy part??) and put it into a heart-shaped wire pendant---kind of like a basket. The really cool thing is that each pearl can be different colors, and each color can mean different things. You don't know until you open them what the color stands for... and the belief is that each person will get the pearl that represents them.

We waited until Tim was home one night to help (so I could snap photos and video tape... and perhaps not touch the squishy part)... and we put together the necklaces. What a very special gift, from our very special friends! Thank you Farley Family for these special necklaces. Oh, and by the way... Ali's pearl was peach - which means healthful. (Very appropriate for our fruit and vegetable eater!) Rachel's pearl was white... which represents wisdom. (She's already too smart for her own good... oh no, look out!)

And for Mommy? Mommy got her very first strand of REAL PEARLS!!!! They are beautiful - and I love them so much. Thank you, Cynthia. :)

What I Owe To Others....

The Hanks Family - Feburary 2007 "Forever Family Day"

In the Eighth Grade, I had to write an autobiography for Mr. Douglas’ English class. Having already seen Jamie do this same project… I had two years to prepare and think ahead. There were several chapters… maybe ten or twelve in all. Some were about “What’s Important To Me”, “My Favorite Holiday”, “My Gang”, “Beautiful Places I have Visited”… and there was a chapter titled
“What I Owe To Others”. I saved my autobiography… and in high school when I was putting together my “Memory Book” I pasted a copy of that chapter in the front cover of my Memory Book. (It was my first crude attempt at scrapbooking… and Jana… when I say I pasted… grit your teeth, hold you breath, and steel yourself… I mean I used scotch tape, and Elmer’s Glue All… and lots of it. There is nothing acid or lignin free about this mess of a book… and the binding has literally BROKEN. It’s really scary.)

I pulled out my Memory Book just this past weekend… and I think you might find my thoughts from the Eighth Grade interesting:

What I Owe To Others
By Jennifer Schumacher

An anonymous writer once said, “I expect to pass through this world but once, any good, therefore, that I can do, or any kindness I can show to my fellowman, let me do it now; let me not put it off or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.”

I am not here by chance. I was conceived in love, trained through teaching, understanding and tender guidance by those around me.

My purpose for being is to grow physically, mentally and spiritually. That growth doesn’t come overnight, but is a never ending process. It has been directed by parents, teachers and friends who have taught me that without love, all else is nothing. They have directed my mind to learn, and have created within me the desire to persist.

With so many having an impact on my life, how can I neglect my responsibility to others? I must strive to be no less than the best, achieve my goals, and as I pass through this life, leave a heritage to be proud of.

These kind of assignments were fun. They made you think – but it wasn’t like the kind of thinking we had to do in Physics… which made me head hurt.

Why was I being so reflective this past week? There are SO many reasons… but the main reason is the Pampered Chef Fund Raising Event - beginning our journey to Bring Sara Home! It was so much more than just a Pampered Chef party… and it opened my eyes, yet again, to the wonderful people that we are blessed to have as family and friends.

I read over that little essay from 8th grade… and as immature and inexperienced as I was at the age of 12… part of that essay rings true to me even today. Growth doesn’t come overnight. It is impacted every day by those people around me… my family, my friends and my peers. There are so many of you that have had (and still have) a huge impact on my life… and I take my responsibility to you very seriously. I want to pass on a heritage to my children that we can all be proud of.

The Pampered Chef Fund Raising Event was a huge success. I have been amazed and overwhelmed by the love and support that has come from so many people. From people who had such an integral part in raising me and guiding my paths and life choices, to friends that I have met within the adoption community, to my dear friends from church and Bible Study… to friends I have made through other friends. I have been touched and moved by this outpouring of love and support. The encouraging words, the offers of prayers, the financial support… and the love to which each of you continues to show to my family and me, have quite literally moved me (and...Leigh) to tears. The Pampered Chef orders helped our family’s Fund Raising efforts by grossing us over $913 in total cash! Praise the Lord! In addition to the money raised from the Pampered Chef sales and raffle, we had many people that decided instead to send us love gifts to help bring Sara home. Those Love Gifts totaled $1,200. All in all, we were able to raise over $2,100 towards bringing Sara home. And it didn’t end there.

There aren’t enough words to express our gratitude to every person that helped in this endeavor. Tim and I have been moved to tears so many times, by so many acts of kindness. This kind of love for our family, and this kind of support, only strengthens our resolve that we are following the will of God.

We are so humbled and grateful to each and every person, each and every gift… each and every prayer.

To my wonderful and dear friend, Leigh Reed – Pampered Chef Super Woman… Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are the kindest person – with a heart that is big and pure and sincere. It has been a joy getting to know you… and for having you on this journey with me. Who else would have driven to Sadieville to meet a guy named Tiny Tim? And who else would have laughed so hard with me – and also cried so many tears with me? You are an angel – and I am blessed to have you in my life.

As I have already said - we are so blessed to be surrounded by such wonderful friends. It is an awesome responsibility to know that there are so many people out there supporting our efforts. We want to do everything we can to make each of you proud of us - and to be good stewards of the gifts that God has entrusted us with. We are so grateful for a God that has directed our path thus far, and placed so many wonderful people with us along this journey. God is good, all the time. All the time He is good! Continue with us as we travel this journey – and please keep us in your prayers as we bring Sara home.

We thank you all - from the bottom of our hearts.

For those that didn’t make it to the party… I am trying to upload the video I showed that day. Please keep checking for that.

I love the song that Jamie used when making this video. It talks about finding the face of Jesus in a little orphan girl...then, it poses the question: "What Now - What will you do, now that you've found me? What now? What will you do with this treasure you've found?" (Stephen Curtis Chapman)

In the process of begining this journey of parenthood, our focus has certainly changed from just wanting children - to following God's will for our family... and making a difference in a child's life. I was reading my step-brother's web site. If you want to be inspired... I suggest you check it out. He is an awesome person - with such insight and ability to express his thoughts. (www.joeyclifton.com) On one of his recent posts he quoted Parker Palmer, a Quaker educator, who wrote, “Before you tell your life what you intend to do with it, listen for what it intends to do with you.” Tim and I had a plan for our lives. By that same token... God had a plan - and His way is always perfect. I wonder how many of us spend our lifetime trying to force OUR plan to work, rather than to listen to His plan?? I am glad that we finally opened our eyes and ears... and began to follow His perfect path.

So...What Now?

The Journey of Faith continues...

My childhood is full of the most precious - yet hysterical memories. I wouldn't trade them for any amount of money in the world. Despite our best efforts... my sisters and I did not send my mother to the funny farm... and let me tell you, with four girls in the house (all born within five years) we gave her plenty of opportunities to pull her hair out. I can't think of ONE favorite memory... and not have it include my family. My sisters, while all very different, are very much a part of who I am... and they are the most precious and dear part of my childhood. I cannot imagine life without them... and it breaks my heart now as an adult to have Jean so far away, although I know they love being in Arizona. There is just something wonderful and amazing about sisters. And I am blessed to have three! (And a mother with the patience of Job!)

Because of this, I have always known that I wanted to have a big family - full of the same joy and energy that we had at home when I was a child! When Tim and I began this journey of parenthood - there was never a question that we would have a large family.

We began our journey...with Ali and Rachel... and celebrated our 3-year anniversary of our Forever Family Day on February 3rd, 2007. (It took us 15 months to bring the girls home... so they have really been in our hearts much longer. That was just our final adoption day in Guatemala.)

Then last year in April, we traveled to Guatemala to bring McCaleb home. It was such a wonderful experience to be able to take the girls back to Guatemala... to attend a church service in a small community church with our friend, Hugo and the Blanford's from Bardstown who were there to bring Eli home as well. It was such a blessing... to spend time with and worship with the local people. To be so involved and intimate with them. Already there was a tug at our hearts that still... we could do more. We had learned of a young boy who was 8... and of a family trying to bring him home... and the challenges and difficulties they had faced for several years. The story was heartbreaking enough... but worse when Tim, Robbie and Hugo went to the orphanage and met this young boy - as well as the other older children. They saw what precious children they are... and what a huge need for these older children still exists. It was during this trip that we became painfully aware of the urgent need of these older children - waiting for their forever families. We began talking about the "next time" while we were still in Guatemala.

Somewhere along this journey - our focus has changed from what we want as parents... to making a difference in the lives of children. It's not about us... and despite whatever we might want to think... it never has been. God had a reason that He set us on this path. He has a plan and a purpose for our lives. We are simply trying to be faithful and obedient in that service. We still want a large family - and we know that we cannot bring every child home. We can only make a difference one life at a time.

As we began to talk about adopting again... our hearts were immediately drawn to the older children. The children that were waiting, and are so often passed over for the younger children and infants. Everyone, it seems, wants a baby. With this need on our hearts and minds- as soon as we returned home, we began making phone calls to learn more about the plight of these older children.

That is when we learned of Sara. Sara was six years old and had recently been relinquished to a home in Guatemala City.

They say that adoption is a calling… and not for the faint of heart. This is certainly true for our family. Knowing that our plate was already full… McCaleb had only returned home… we began to network with others to find a home for Sara. However, after several weeks and months of prayer and counsel… we turned this decision over to God. Once again, His voice was clear – He had already found a home for Sara, and two parents that had already opened their hearts to her. Now… we simply had to find a way to bring Sara home.

It is with great thanksgiving and joy - that we introduce you to our new daughter, Sara.

This new path on our journey brought with it many challenges of its own. Primarily; how do we handle this financial commitment after just bringing McCaleb home? With that in mind - we have set up a few Fund Raising events for Sara's adoption expenses, the first of which was Sunday, February 11th in our home. My good friend, Leigh Reed, is a director with Pampered Chef. She is one of the kindest and most energetic people you would ever want to meet! She held a Pampered Chef Fund Raising event that is going on now through February 25th. She gave out packets for people to help us by collecting orders... and by selling $4 Raffle Tickets for one of several $200 Pampered Chef shopping sprees! She is an amazing person...with a very big heart! If you want more information, you can log onto her website: www.pamperedchef.biz/leighreed or you can call her at 502-867-0814. Each order placed will help benefit Sara's Adoption Fund!

As for the Hanks Family... we find ourselves very blessed and humbled by the family and friends that we have. The love and support that you all show us is overwhelming. We ask that you continue to keep our family in your prayers as we face this new adventure... and we also ask that you pray especially for Sara: that God would begin to prepare her heart for this enormous change that will occur in her life.

I have (again) been studying a Beth Moore Bible Study. (For those of you unfamiliar... you are missing a blessing.) This one is "To Live Is Christ" about the Life and Journey of the apostle Paul... and I will end with some of his thoughts to the church at Ephesus:

"I keep asking that the God of our LORD Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know Him better. I pray also that they eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in the saints, and His incomparably great power for us who believe."

Ephesians 1:17-19 NIV

Sit back, grab a Kleenex... and read my WHOLE HEART

Ali's referral photo... isn't she adorable??
My current favorite photo of Ali... she looks so GROWN UP. This is the cake she made for her Birthday.

So - Ali turned 5 in December. I never got to write about that - other than her big day and the fun we had. (Please scroll down to December 2nd... I have added photos etc...) But I haven't really written about Ali. About how she's grown, how she's changed... and how WE have changed. I don't know if Ali can grasp the impact that she has had on my life - and how God has blessed me with the opportunity to be her Mom. I don't know if she will ever be able to grasp it...it is an awesome responsibility. It has been a long, hard struggle... for a lot of reasons. But she stole my heart the minute I saw her face - and I have been working ever since then to try and change that look in her eyes... It's a long story. I've written it a few times... but this time I need to post it. (I have had a few people ask about it...) So here goes:

Many of you may not know the struggles that Tim and I went through trying to have a family. It was not fun, it was terribly expensive... and it was an emotional roller-coaster of astronomical proportions. I cannot describe to you the highs and lows... but anyone going through this...believe me when I say... I sympathize with you and your plight. God has a plan for our lives - I know that. I always have. I just have to wonder sometimes if He wasn't sitting there saying: "Jennifer... why don't you back off and let me be fabulous? Let me just WOW you and show you what I can do..." I was an average student in school, perhaps a little better... so, you'd think I would catch on a little quicker. I guess my head is a little harder than I would care to admit. I can remember beginning the first of three rounds of InVitro Fertilization... it was in February 2001... and we just KNEW we would be having a baby right before Christmas. It was GOING to work... I just knew it. Well... it didn't. It didn't work that time, or the next time... so I got to enjoy a little forced menopause during the sweltering months of August and September... and then we signed back on for round three! (Can you say STUPID???) I can remember so clearly the day that we got the call... I was at Fayette Mall with Jamie, Briana and Mom. Tim met us there so we could call the doctor's office back. It had failed yet again. But this time we had what they considered a "false" positive result. The embryos were not going to make it - but they had already begun to implant. Basically they were dying. It was devastating. It was the most grueling emotional experience that I can ever remember having. I knew in my heart that God can do anything...so I kept praying for God to fix what was wrong. Not to let them all die... I didn't want to lose them. We found out on November 28th that the implantation didn't work...and that our chances to conceive were less than 1%. (How do you get worse than that? LESS than 1%!) I remember hearing the Katina's singing "Thank You" on Klove when I left the Mall.

The Katinas - "Thank You" From the album Destiny
Just a little while longer I wanna pray
Can't get You off my mind so I came to say
Thank You Lord just for loving me
Many times as I do forget
Every need that You have met
Oh thank You Lord, I know You're showing me
You are there when I am down and out
You're holding me, Your love is so amazing
Oh it changed me

Here I am with all I am
Raise my hands to worship You
I wanna say thank you, oh thank you
For everything, for who You are
You cover me, You touch my heart
I wanna say thank you

I could have died in my sin but You saved me
Didn't have any hope at all
You gave me peace divine, strength to carry on
I should have been the one to pay
But instead You took my place
My Jesus, words cannot explain
Even though I don't deserve Your love for me
You look beyond my fault and
You showed mercy

repeat chorus

I wanna say thank you for the sun
I wanna say thank you for the rain
Everything You do is beautiful
I'm so grateful for Your love

I remember thinking, HOW CAN I BE THANKFUL FOR THIS??? This is where God - your faith - and your family are crucial. I remember being so depressed at Christmas... but knowing that we needed to move forward. Dr. Akin - who is a kind and wonderful person - suggested a surrogate, OR adoption. We did actually discuss the surrogate idea. But lets see: Jean had a baby that was 2 months old... Jamie was on heart medication and couldn't come off of it... and Jodi had the beginnings of problems that we later determined were the onset of MS. Just didn't seem to work out. We had always been open to adoption...so I channeled my energies into learning everything about adoption. We read, went to seminars, called agencies, talked to people... and felt rather confident that we knew what our plan was going to be. (Once again... in take-charge mode...) We also knew that we would be going to either (a) China (Tim's choice) or (b) Romania (Jennifer's). Then the more that we began it investigate - we found that there were MORE countries to adopt from than we even knew existed. Seriously... I hesitate to tell you my rationale for not wanting to fly to China... and I promise you that I had heard of Guatemala... but there is NO WAY that I even knew where it was. (Keep in mind... I am still not sure where Egypt is.) ;) In February 2002 Mom and I flew out to see Jean, Chris and TABITHA. On the airplane ride there I read an entire article about the Mayan ruins in Antigua, Guatemala. When I opened the first of the many many many information packets... I was immediately drawn to the little children from Guatemala. To their eyes, to their faces... to their situation. EVERY banana that I bought... said Guatemala right there on the Chiquita label. It was as if God was saying... "Hello... can you hear me now????" After many months of discussion (Tim and I were a little more like Gideon... and a little less like Abraham, I'm afraid) we decided to adopt in Guatemala. Once the decision was made - it was as if a weight had been lifted off of my heart. (That would be God saying, "Whew... FINALLY.") We sat back and began to wait for out referral. (This REALLY IS going to get back to Ali... I promise.)

The call came just a few days after Rachel was born... if you have scrolled down through all the old entries... there is little that you can tell about Rachel. She was cute... but the picture was grainy, blurry... and her eyes were closed. However, it was when I saw Ali... I knew. Instantly. I knew that this child was my child... and that I would spend the rest of my life trying to take away the sadness from her eyes. To take away the pain that you could see that she was in... it was haunting. Needless to say - we accepted the referral with hearts already full!

At that same time we received our referral, Jamie and I were doing a Beth Moore Bible study: Believing God. We were working on a timeline... of all the significant things that occurred in your life... and how God was always there even if you didn't know it at the time. I began to plot things out... things like: becoming a christian... the death of loved ones... and it asked about your darkest day. That was easy... I plopped November 28th, 2001 right on that timeline. It was truly my darkest day. Then it asked for the good things in your life...when you were married... when your children were born... Hey! I could fill that in now! I ran to get the referral packet and check those dates out. Rachel was a newborn... November 1, 2002. So, I plotted that on the chart. I got Ali's paperwork... December 2nd, 2001. I went to plot her date on the chart... and my hand just stopped. I was stunned to realize that on my darkest day... the day I thought things would never be any better...how could I be happy or thankful for anything... that Ali was born JUST 4 days later. I was immediately moved to tears... and they still flow freely today when I realize His awesome power and all that He has done! I began to SEE that when we BEGAN our attempts at becoming parents... all the shots and IVF cycles... she was very likely conceived within days of that first cycle.

GOD IS SO GOOD. He is in control of our lives... and when we step back and let Him... He will do amazing things. We didn't know about Ali for 11 months... but He was taking care of her... and preparing another blessing for us in Rachel, as well. It hasn't been easy for Ali. She grieved a lot. (If you have never seen a child grieve... it is painful... it is hard.) She has so many attachment issues that no one (who hasn't been down that road) can understand. It took me a long time... and a lot of counseling and patience that I didn't know that I possessed. (For anyone out there about to adopt a toddler - read read read and talk talk talk to other people. I was prepared in my head... but so unprepared EMOTIONALLY... and made too may mistakes.) Ali is my own PERSONAL gift from God. She is a promise fulfilled... she is an answer to prayer. She is the light of my life... and yet she has single-handedly given me more time on my knees before the LORD than any other person in my life. I may spend the rest of my life trying to SHOW her that I will never leave her, will never hurt her... and will never stop loving her. However, I don't think it will take that long. She already knows so much more... and she has learned to trust so much. I can see a light now in her eyes... and that makes me so happy. God knew all along what His Good and Perfect plan was for our lives. Tim and I just didn't let go and let God...! Ali is such a blessing to us... and she may never know the impact that she has had on my life. The passion that she fuels in me to be diligent and work hard to be consistent and fair... to help other people walking this same path that we have already walked... and to help other mothers NOT make some of the same mistakes that I made. In the Bible it says: "For I know the plans I have for you," saith the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and future." Jer. 29:11. If there is anything that I know for a fact... it is that God has a plan. I take comfort in that... In knowing that He is in control. Being a Mom can be hard at times - but oh, it is so worth the effort. Each success with Ali gives me hope. My life is so full - and so good. Ali's future is bright - and I am so proud of the accomplishments she has made. I work every day to let God know that I appreciate His gift... and that I am doing the best that I can to honor Him.

Tag-Team Cookie Baking

Here are some of the pictures from the BAKING portion of our day. There might not have been "fluff" involved... but these smart bakers already know how to lick the batter from the beaters. McCaleb was especially helpful - if he wasn't unplugging the mixer, or pushing in the "reset" button on the ground fault plug, he was making major repairs with his new hammer and drill from Mr. David, Mrs. Joanna and Ashley! (Joanna... apparently we have not put the fear of God in him well enough...) Lucky for us - he has pretty good aim with that hammer. No fingers or toes were injured during the remodeling process.